Why Won’t My Baby Sleep, And What Can I Do!?

Motherhood comes with so much joy and so little sleep. It can feel like your newborn never sleeps. So, if you’ve found yourself wondering “Why won’t my baby sleep?” you’re not alone. It can feel like your newborn never rests, and those sleepless nights can leave you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. 

I’ve created this guide to walk you through some of the reasons why your baby might be struggling to sleep and how you can deal with it. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy this read!

So Why Does My Baby Wake Up So Often? Is It Normal?

Yes, it is completely normal and healthy for a newborn to wake up frequently. Babies are born into the world after spending months inside the warm, comforting darkness of their mother’s womb.

That means that after all that darkness, they basically have no concept of day and night, and it will be months or even years before their sleep patterns begin to resemble adult sleep. If you’ve been battling to understand why your newborn won’t sleep, now you know!

How Much Do Babies Sleep?

While newborns average about 16 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, it’s important to remember that those hours don’t happen in long stretches. A newborn’s sleep cycle is only about 45 to 60 minutes, and they transition quickly between light and deep stages. 

This means they’ll often stir, fuss, or wake up fully between cycles, especially if they’re hungry or overstimulated.

What About The Saying “Sleep Like A Baby”?

It is very common for babies to make a lot of noise while sleeping. When babies sleep, they spend about half the time in REM sleep, which is very light sleep. While they’re in REM sleep, they will not appear to be sleeping soundly. This is the time when you’ll hear them make all sorts of noises. They even moan and groan and cry out occasionally.

This means that babies sleep quietly and peacefully for only about 8 hours spread out between day and night. So, at night, you only get about 4 hours of “sleeping like a baby” spread out in one-hour time blocks… no wonder it feels like babies never sleep!

What Are Sleep Regressions, And When Do They Happen?

This is another interesting thing to know if you’re wondering why your baby won’t sleep. Just when you think your baby has found a bit of a rhythm, they may suddenly start waking more often, even if they were previously sleeping longer stretches. These disruptions are known as sleep regressions, and they typically coincide with developmental leaps.

Common regressions occur around 4 months, 8 to 10 months, and again near 18 months. During these phases, your baby is growing cognitively and physically. They’re learning new skills, becoming more aware of their surroundings, and sometimes struggling to settle.

While it can be a bit frustrating, regressions are a normal part of development. They’re not a step backward, but a sign that your baby is progressing in other ways. With time and consistency, sleep usually stabilizes again.

So How Can I Deal With The Lack Of Sleep Postpartum?

• Feed on demand

To help your newborn grow and thrive, it’s essential in the early weeks to feed them on demand. Don’t worry, they will eventually sleep longer stretches, and you will sleep more.

• Rest when you can

If there’s a moment when baby is quiet or resting, try to do the same. I know it can be tempting to want to catch up on chores, but this is a good time for you to leave the laundry and dishes for someone else or for another time. I find the best hours of rest for mom in the early period postpartum are the early morning hours. Pass the baby off to dad, grandma, or another helper for the hours from 6 am to 8 or 9 am and go back to sleep. Get up, use the bathroom, change your pad, close the curtains, and crawl back into your nice warm bed. This can be an excellent time to sleep with no underwear on a towel and free bleeding, allowing your healing perineum to be exposed to the air.

• Eat nourishing meals

Stay well hydrated and eat sufficient calories to nourish your body. If you are running on empty, this will exacerbate the fatigue from lack of sleep.

• Reach out for help

It takes a village to raise a child, and this starts in infancy. Reach out to friends and family for help or hire a postpartum doula. Some women believe they shouldn’t need help to raise their baby, but that’s not realistic. Remember, you’ll be running on just 4 hours of fragmented sleep. You need to be focusing on snuggling and feeding your baby. It is a wonderful time to lean on your community for support. If you don’t have family and friends available or need a little extra TLC, reach out to me and schedule a call here. Postpartum support can make a wonderful gift. I would love to support you or your loved one in the transition to motherhood!

Some More Tips For Baby Sleep:

Truth be told, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to newborn sleep, but there are gentle ways to support rest for both you and your baby. Creating a consistent (but flexible) bedtime routine can help signal to your baby that it’s time to wind down. That might include dimming lights, playing soft sounds, feeding, and quiet cuddling.

Skin-to-skin contact and contact naps can also help regulate your baby’s nervous system and support deeper sleep. If your baby prefers motion, babywearing during naps or using a gentle rocking bassinet might help extend their rest.

What matters most is following your baby’s cues and choosing approaches that feel manageable and comforting for your family.

It’s okay to let go of perfection… After all, babies aren’t meant to sleep like adults, and your rhythms will evolve together over time.

Emotional Impact + Doula Support

It’s worth saying: sleep deprivation in early parenthood can be emotionally overwhelming.

The brain fog, the mood swings, the tears at 3 am… They’re not signs that you’re doing anything wrong. They’re signs that this stage is hard and you’re only human.

During the postpartum period, many new parents feel isolated or unsure of what’s “normal,” especially when they’re running on fragmented sleep, or sometimes no sleep at all. But the wonderful thing? That’s where support systems come in.

Having a postpartum doula, even if they’re just there for a few hours a week, can offer more than practical help. It brings emotional relief, gentle guidance, and someone who understands how physically and emotionally exhausting this season can be.

You’re not meant to do this alone. With the right support, it’s possible to rest, recover, and move through this stage with more grace and less pressure. If you’re a postpartum parent and feeling like you need a helping, loving hand (an extra support layer) to get you through this time, you can book a consultation with us here. Our team of trained and certified doulas is more than happy to help!